Imposter Syndrome and ADHD
Imposter Syndrome
Do you show up to work just waiting to be ‘found out.’ You worry that at any moment in time, people will realize you’re a fraud. This is called imposter syndrome. This is a common symptom for folks with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). You may be wondering how these two seemingly unconnected things are connected? Well…let me tell you.
The typical imposter syndrome phrases are often catchphrases for many folks with ADHD. When talking with clients, they often struggle to show up to work as their authentic selves; afraid that eventually people will find out that they shouldn’t be there. Due to many stories of those with ADHD, they have had many past experiences where failure and struggles have been the name of the game. They have had to work extra hard to get where they are and aren’t sure how they got there. Those with ADHD are just as smart and capable as neurotypical folks.
Why is Imposter Syndrome so Typical with ADHD?
It is common for those with ADHD to have struggled academically, socially and in their occupation. This struggle to get good grades, to focus, to manage deadlines, or even failing classes all feel like confirmations that they aren’t smart enough. This is actually incorrect. ADHD does not affect one’s intelligence. ADHD folks are just as capable as anyone else with proper structures and strategies to help them be successful in the ways their brain works.
Due to struggles related to ADHD, it often acts as a confirmation bias for their struggles in school, relationships or the workplace. Their struggles seem to suggest that they aren’t smart enough, they aren’t good enough, they aren’t successful enough, or capable enough.
Many folks growing up with ADHD have heard phrases over and over again about, ‘just try harder,’ ‘if you would only apply yourself,’ or ‘you’re being lazy.’ These words have a large impact on a child’s sense of self and their confidence in their abilities to succeed. They slowly begin to believe this about themselves; that they are lazy, incapable and a failure.
When they get into a workplace and actually do succeed in a job, this doesn’t live up to their own internal beliefs. They often don’t believe they can do well in a job because they have been told differently most of their life or have had experiences that have proven otherwise.
Folks with ADHD often have pain points around their struggles and often want to hide it. So when they get praise on a project, hear a job well done or a promotion, they feel like it will end at any point because their struggles will ‘come out.’
How to Help Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Understanding struggles through lens of ADHD: When working with folks with ADHD, there is often shame around their difficulties. It can be really helpful to separate the difficulties as being a character flaw and looking at it from a perspective of having ADHD. You aren’t a lazy, unintelligent or failure due to struggling getting laundry done or turning in an assignment. You’re brain works differently due to ADHD and it’s about learning skills to help manage the executive function deficits.
Executive Function Skills: Building strategies to help with executive function difficulties can be a huge confidence booster. If you finally find ways to no longer procrastinate or manage your calendar better, you slowly build confidence in your ability to do things. Working with an executive function coach or a therapist who specializes in ADHD can also help in working with strategies to help work to find strategies that work for you.
Working through Shame: It can be very helpful to work with a therapist to help overcome feelings of shame around your struggles with ADHD. Shifting your narrative around your struggles to working to find strategies to help be a successful person can have huge benefits.
A Fish among Giraffes: I once used an analogy for a client around feeling incapable of being successful. If a fish is living among giraffes, that fish will feel insecure about not being able to reach tall to the trees or be able to walk the plains with long legs. The fish over time will have doubts about their capabilities and while living among giraffes, their strengths may not be able to shine. Although, a fish is able to see its benefits in the water. They can swim, breath underwater, and fit into smaller spaces that a giraffe otherwise wouldn’t be able to successfully do. All this being said…it’s about finding your strengths. We all have them but it may not feel like it being a neurodivergent living in a neurotypical world.
Meet the Author
Adrienne Kandhari (she/her) is a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Washington who has lived experience with ADHD. Adrienne was not diagnosed with ADHD until as an adult. She specializes working with millennial women with ADHD and helping them to grow, succeed, and thrive in the modern world. When she’s not with clients, you can find her exploring the PNW, sewing a new fashion project, and soaking up some snuggles from her Belgian Malinois pup, Alaia
